June 5, 2002

All right. Looks like another night of cocktail-concocted positivist propaganda!

What was I thinking? Writing a letter to Fred telling him how to repair his broke down workaday existence. The gall! To suggest that someone take a leap of faith, any faith, in the general direction of their most off-the-wall conceptual concoction. Idiocy.

I mean, look at me! Not a penny to my name just a few daze ago, now living (sucking the terrible teat of Red Hook IPA) off the fat of the land, a whopping $125 to last me three weeks, manna from the Heaven which is Our Lord Swami, with whom I have taken on a screenwriting project, and living (oh, the degradation of it all!) like a squatter here in my friend Ricky's little cabin in the woods whilst he dances with campfire-spark pixies far above us on top of Mount Whateverhoosit and me listening to that suicide king of the krazies Kurt Kkkcccobain, he who slept beneath bridges and milked fat & fetid femme fa-cows for a couch to crash on, oh dastardly deed! Oh can you forgive me? I'm drinking whilst the sun is sinking and I'm thinking wholly jeezus it's far too kinky to play with my slinky in Ricky's sinky and the sun is sinking into the tall pine trees and here I sit being a tease and a sleeze with fleas and oh, my God, oh God, what was I thinking when I put pen to paper to pray for Fred out there in the Land of Long Dead Ancestral Americans, my patriotic now-and-again erotic homeland wherefore our foundering forefather Paul Revere did holler the Prit Tish is cumming, the Prit Tish is cumming! When of course he meant to say the priss-Tish, because if you knew Tish like knew Tish she was a priss if ever there was a priss, but that's beside the point because the point is that of all the things that've come out of New Anglin' in the past three centuries isn't the Affleckt-tion of.., I mean to say the plague of Ben Affleckt and Matt Damon just the worst?

oh, dear, i think i'm gonna be ill

Okay, Afflekkkkkt wasn't bad in Pearl Harbor and the gravity of the subject matter eclipsed him anyway and damnit those cowardly Jap swine deserved all the chewing tobacco and iron-clad gunpowder-apple pie we spit-threw back at em after what they dun to us!

Ppp-tuey!

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