June 4th 2002

It's Worth It! Here We Go!






No choice.

Gotta do it.

God 2 dew it.

God I love being me. I love being a writer.

I mean, can it get any weirder? Any better? Go, on! Surprise me.

No mater where I roam, I always wind up here. Home again here on the blank page. Or, rather, the blank screen. Because despite all the internet's fascination and all the tricks and wizardry of the latest personal computer technology, content just doesn't write itself. Even when we reach the point when all the keyboards go in the trash and computers are strictly spoken to, no one will ever be able to replace the writer. Can't be done.

All the tears and all the years and all the `this is the last time' trips to this or that food stamp office in Albuquerque or Bisbee or Corvallis or Denver or Encinitas or F-ing Where-the-Hell-ever, well, I'm here to tell you folks and listen good, yes, you heard it here:

Lordy, Lordy, lemme tell ya, and you can tell `em I told ya, living an authentic, self-created legendary glue-sniffing verb-violating poet-artist existence is worth it!

It's worth all the fear and all the bad beer and all the mental wear-and-tear and all the jeers and all the jitters and all the doomsaying of failures and quitters and assholes who kick you when you're down and all the shitty towns and the bad rounds and barking hounds and leering clowns and thumping sounds inside your fragile skull and all the times you find yourself dropping through the air with no net and a dead pet and you're all wet walking in the rain with a sopping mane feeling every bit insane and inane and in so much pain you could choke because your heart was broke by the demon dwelling in the throat of your x-lover's booze-soaked head and you envy the dead, yes even when it's so bad that you envy the dead..

..it is worth following your dream.

It is worth dreaming your dream because when you do, it is only a matter of time before you will be screaming your scream of triumph, my friend. Count on it. Bank on it. Be the ball. Get out of your cubicle, answer the call. Life is not waiting. Time is not waiting. But your dream is.

Follow my lead into dreamland. But do it your way. Undoubtedly you can do it better than me. I am 35 years old, more or less homeless, damn near penniless and short on societal success, but I keep on writing because writing makes me happy.

Via con Dios.

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