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October 19, 2002  October 19, 2002 Dennys somewhere outside the gates of Disneyworld, Orlando, FLA - A much-needed meal after a long and foolish day of self-starvation. Several migs of K and I'm still fighting off the Cricket-Cop-Out Blues. Strange turn of events today in Daytona. Too many hogs. Too much muffler roar for my fragile skull and then, when i got around to visiting the AAA Office for help landing a hotel room, seems all those hogs had hogged up the whole damn town. And here I'd just gambled fully half my cash stash on a computer monitor so's i could get online and do some eBay work, the latter justifying the gamble and the cost of better-than-the-backseat-of-the-Thunder Brougham (my car) lodging. So just like that i opened my mouth and out came Orlando. The AAA girl found me several places in the $40/night price range. I probed through the book myself and found a place 3 miles from D-World for $19/night. "I'll take it!" And off I went, south on I-4 for 45 minutes, hit a wall of commuter traffic, pulled off and into this Denny's, plugged the cell phone into the wall, ate my Big Bird special and a slice of cheesecake,d rank about 12 cups of coffee and wrote oh-woe-is-me emails to a few friends to pass the time. Time's up. My cheap hotel beckons. -rsm [Postscript: Even after killing an hour or so at Denny's, the traffic on I-4 was heinous. Thinking myself clever, I rerouted to the Florida Turnpike, which, had I not missed my exit, would have been a good move. Instead, the Florida Turnpike turned out to be some kinda nightmare endless & exit-less straight shot to Miami. What is it with turnpikes anyway? And who the fuck came up with that term? Without consulting a dictionary, I can say this much: a pike is some kinda nasty bottom-feeding fish, and the word turn, well, it means turn. But turnpikes, created & defined by, undoubtedly, some asshole vindictive engineer back in the.. what? Fifties? Turnpikes stink like a fish left out in the sun. And turnpikes, by their very unnatural nature, don't turn for shit. They go straight on and on and break only to take your money. I missed the exit to Disneyworld and wound up on a fifty-some mile detour thanks to the bunghole who invented the Florida Turnpike. Turnpike, it would seem, means long road, many tolls, no exits, you fool! Well, Jeb Bush and his crooked fiends got me that night. Even if Jeb wasn't even born when they laid down that road, I blame him. Fuck those people. God Bless America, and may we soon return to an America where ugly little plastic people from inbred families LOSE elections to good, God-fearing, cigar-smoking, intern-fucking sax players and NOT the other way around. Please Lord, tell me America isn't the bleak and close-minded turnpike that lately it seems to be.] |
